It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. "Told a guy I had body dysmorphia and he said, 'I love sci-fi.'". Took our 3 kids to a space museum today. You gotta start a new life someplace else. Lots of straight onesMe: pic.twitter.com/p919au4ztR, Making it rain but youre a parent: pic.twitter.com/mKPrrU3eCL, My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father's Day. Students arriving at 8:26 will be late. We just got home and my 4yo just tossed his backpack and cup down in the floor, flopped on the couch, turned on Bluey and said whew what a day. Same, little buddy. The new year was a new flood of email. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 15, 2022) To be a parent or to not be a parent. This episode is an entire recording of the livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + listener questions. "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older". By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. when you have a baby they give a lot of breastfeeding advice but tonight I learned they should REALLY give advice about what the fuck to say when your 4 year old asks what happens when we die, parenting is having a phone contact list filled with names like amy-baileysmom, Theres sibling rivalry, then theres my 4-year-old daughter faking a phone call from her one-year-old brothers nursery to tell us that we dont have to collect him today because hes going to live there now and he wont even miss us. Daddy, that chickens ghost is gonna haunt you for eating it, and other terrifying shit my 4yo casually says to me. Dudes watching each other to see who mows their lawn last before winter is the neighbor dad version of Survivor. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 2, 2022 | Exclaim! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! You haven't seen Encanto? Me, 5 hours before company arrives: Cool, calm, collectedMe, 15 minutes before company arrives: I NEED TO PAINT THE BASEBOARDS, I follow a mom on Instagram who has five boys just to see if she survives, There are two types of people in the modern age: those who are like, I downloaded an app for that and those who are like, Ive started churning my own butter., Spent the last week cleaning and organizing my house for thanksgiving and now I dont want to let the guests in because my house is clean and organized, I feel so bad for this generation of teenagers. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 3, 2022) 11/3/2022 Like 1 Comment | 11 Being a parent during the days following Halloween is an insane exercise in self-control. My 5yo asked for hot sauce on his dinner. 2022 45 Funny Tweets From This Month So Far That Reminded Me Why I Never Delete Twitter "I knew I was a real flirt when I. Do you take Discover? What kind of inspirational bullshit has he been listening to? Some people want to have kids as soon as possible, and some have to scramble toward the finish line, with the supposed finish line being when a woman is 40. My kids bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of a fire extinguisher. Ppl w babies: I dont see why people stop traveling when they have kids! Took my 9yo to school. My 2yo made it through a 2 hour drive, a 2 hour wait at the airport where he read a book quietly to himself, an hour flight where he happily watched Finding Nemo on silent, a bus ride where he laughed the whole time, and then screamed the entire 15 min drive home in our own car. Functioning is something everyone wants to do. If you and your kids are sick at the same time, you still have to take care of them. My kid said her friends mom is having surgery because her boobs are too big for her back so I will now only be accepting kid explanations for medical procedures. 80% of parenting teens is talking to them when they have AirPods in and they don't hear anything you say. Me: You dont want to be called Canaan anymore? Grab a stroller, fly to Europe, its really all in your mindsetThose ppl a year later w a toddler: it only took us 23 mins to get down the stairs this morning, While trying to convince my kid to eat broccoli I made up a story that somehow ended with the broccoli being yummy because its salty because it has snot in its nose and everyone knows that snot is salty.what Im saying is that parenting is not for the weak of stomach. By Vish Khanna. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My 6yo just told me he's 1000 years old and not really human. If you are a mom it means sometimes you feel bad about throwing away sticks. What I say: Stay out of trouble for 10 minutes while I shower.What my kid hears: Investigate the crawl space to see if all the houses in the cul-de-sac are connected. My 5 year old squeezed my hand and said Daddy, I dont do busy and Ive never related to him more, Ive never met a better negotiator than a kid who doesnt want to go to sleep. My 5-year-old sat me down to tell me my fortune. Look dad, that star is glitching.We used to call that twinkling but ok. My 5 yo lost her first tooth and wanted to bring her tooth fairy swag to school to flex on her friends. Because of this, it can be pretty challenging to. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) cheezburger.com 1d A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby." Whenever. him: the hard egg with no skin and hair. I wanna go here so bad, cheerleading for the sad, Andrew Garfield's a . My 6yo: There's no school on Friday because it's a teacher planning day. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Parenting tip: For a teething infant, call grandma and tell her to pick up the kid. I told her it's a name. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 5 min read. before becoming a parent i didn't know i could ruin someone's life by providing them with food, water, juice, clothes, entertainment and shelter for free. After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. Being a parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid what the fuck are you talking about? '". You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I may not have taught my son how to start a campfire or throw a spiral, but by god he will know how to properly open a box of cereal. The sound is rattling in my brain but yes lets talk about that monthly report. You now tell the people behind you in mini golf to play through.. perspective on my job pic.twitter.com/h1CpIFJo3m. My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science fair project. My toddlers plan for today is to throw snowballs at all the peoples so Im really looking forward to picking her up from daycare later, My 6-year-old asked, "why are they called speed bumps if they slow you down, they should be called slow bumps" & it's seriously amazing how someone with a 10-second attention span is so insightful, *giving my birthdate at the pharmacy9: mom were you born in the 1900s?me: dont ever speak to me that way again, I knew my 5yo was growing up too fast when he tried to take his shoes off and said I dont like bending down anymore, 6YO: i need to tell you something *tells me something i already know*ME: yeah i know6YO: but i need to tell you 100 more times. Me: You mean red light, green light. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. In my will Im leaving my kids an elaborate treasure map to a buried fortune. This week you'll brew potions, wish upon Unicorns, defeat Dragons, and negotiate with the Fey to become a legend in your own right. What does that mean?Me: [mumbling] They plan on screwing up my Friday, that's what. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Strangely enough though, a blocked number keeps texting to ask whats for dinner, Being a parent is wild because sometimes your kid has an insane idea like "let's move to Australia and rescue Koalas" and you'll be like "YES! I laughed so hard the other day I ended up having to change my pants. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Kelsey Borresen 12/28/2022. What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.What the child hears: Get undressed. Here are this week's dad jokes, mom puns, funny tweets, memes, and plain old rants from other parents. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My 7yo: Daddy could you move over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot. My kids just discovered they can watch YouTube on the hotel tv, so this vacation is over, One way to get coworkers to back off is to pull out your phone and say here let me show you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. ". Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. You can just strap the baby in and GO hiking! Part of HuffPost Parenting. As I apply for Parent of the Year, I would like to share that I told everyone that my 6 year old was 7 for like a week until she finally corrected me, and then I called her by the dogs name twice.I would like my prize in small bills pls. every time we pass another car on the road. My 5yo son: mommy, Im Ashley. To be a parent or to not be a parent. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 2, 2022 Photo via @sachee on Twitter By Vish Khanna Published Dec 02,. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Good news: It seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. "Kids should come with a 'skip intro' button for their stories". My 8yo in a white shirt with a pomegranate and voil! Same. School emails be like:Welcome to X Elementary! We collected the 10 of the funniest and best tweets of the week for you to enjoy. Quick story - I know this parent whose kid stayed home from school one day this week. Kids should come with a skip intro button for their stories, The funniest thing thats ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went Can you feed me? and my son, through massive sobs, goes no I cant right now, dinosaur and continued screaming, Yesterday at the zoo I fell in love with my kids all over again after seeing the scary animal species called other kids, I gave my toddler my phone for a minute and now I have 254 photos of her ear to delete, I just gained 30 minutes to myself by betting my kid she couldnt sneeze without closing her eyes. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. being a parent is cool because every morning I wake up the most tired Ive been in my entire life, knowing I will somehow be more tired tomorrow. By Georgia Nicols Wednesday . My son has a dentist appointment at 2.30pm tomorrow. Edition Parenting funny tweets best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (March 26-April 1) "It's time to play 'Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both?'" By Caroline Bologna Apr 1, 2022, 04:07 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. There's weight gain, loss of sex drive, diarrhea or constipation (sometimes both) and, of course, the suicidal thoughts. It's adorable, but I do try to help him say the correct word. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Once they finally locate and open it, its just going to be filled with everything they made me out of sticks and cardboard in elementary school. Had I upset her? 6: why does J have two mommies?Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy all families look diff-6: I wish I had two mommies My husband: My teen said I was old and out of touch. Parents m 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Parenting is similar. A rock where there are no children? 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Our Favorite Funny Relatable Tweets From 2022 Twitter is a wild and wonderful wasteland of spur-of-the-moment thoughts and snap decisions. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Tell me if you've heard this one: "I'm going to have kids early so I can enjoy my 40s and 50s." Or what about this one: "I'm going to wait until I'm 30 to have a kid so I can enjoy my twenties." These lines of reasoning are predicated on the notion that having kids is not enjoyable and is something you want to be relieved of eventually or postpone. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: January 13, 2022. by Ajani Bazile. Start finger painting. October 14 someone i taught how. Welcome back! Wishing you all a good weekend! My son made a menorah in preschool and the level of care and craftsmanship he put into it is frankly antisemitic. My 5yo asked me if Susanna is a country. Mrs . "'I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. I said bye but she walked straight in. I googled juvenile psychopathy, my husband interrogated our kid. The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. This is your life now. my lip balm twisted all the way with no cap, rocks. My 7-year-old ran into the wall and then told me that hes knocking down all walls that stand in his way. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Helping in the kitchen this morning. And can I visit for a week or two? Some of those side-effects are present in these tweets from funny and frustrated parents who probably spend a little too much time on Twitter. My husband went down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 7YO: daddy if you could be any kitchen utensil what would you be?ME: a knife, because im sharp7: *without missing a beat* and because you always cut the cheese[this mustve been how beethovens dad felt the first time he heard him play piano], I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now My 9 year old has wanted to bake a cake for weeks and today after I finished work we finally did it. Find out what flavor of ice cream your kids hate and learn to love it. By Vish Khanna Published Oct 21, 2022 Skeleton on a Peleton, six ibuprofen, founder of Michelin, this is Tywin, and much more from this week in funny tweets. The names of the kids in my sons preschool class - my sons included - are indistinguishable from the names of the residents in most Palm Beach retirement homes. The PTA will need a donation equal to your mortgage. Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton.". I took the kids out for the day so my husband could relax and apparently my husbands interpretation of relaxing is relaxing and not doing 16 loads of laundry. My child who jokes nonstop about the planet Uranus has recently learned about the country of Djibouti." By. Thank you. So I guess were business associates now. Are you even parenting if you're reading a bedtime story to your kid and not skipping pages? I'd be happy with 10 pounds! Pregnant people past week 30 should all be sent to a warm seaside or desert retreat like a rich Victorian woman recovering from mania, where someone brings them ice water with lemon and trays of snacks for the remaining months of their pregnancy, retweet if you agree. Why won't you let me live my life" years old. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Week after week, the spouses of Twitter deliver some of the most hilarious and relatable quips about the ups and downs of married life. I honestly hate how true this proved to be. 3. I dont usually get to. "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Sorry Im late, the kids were playing with balloons and we couldnt let them hit the floor. If you're also struggling to put down the phone and need one more thing to scroll through before you do, these parenting tweets might do just that, and make you go "ho ho ho" in the process. She said, "one day, maybe you'll be the best mom in the universe." Sorry I didnt make mashed potatoes. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. !, gentle parenting, gentle parenting. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Its like they dont even appreciate this plastic bag full of hundreds of other plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit someday. The WP Minute - WordPress news. I can't stop laughing. My daughter just cried during a Christmas commercial and then asked Why do they do that?Welcome to commercialism, kiddo. Parenting best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Aug. 6-12) "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins." By Caroline Bologna Aug 12, 2022, 01:13 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. my 9 and 7 yo each had a friend sleep over this weekend. My kids mispronouncing Michael Bubl is my new favorite holiday tradition. Him: you know too much of my personal business. My 4-year-old says the wrong name for many things. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth. U.S. While teaching your teen to drive just know it's totally normal if you keep having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling. Lets see how this plays out. But for those with the privilege of family planning, it's all about the timing. My kid just tried to win an argument with "Because I said so" and I had to break it to him that only parents get to win by saying that. "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice". Lose at least one shoe. My wife and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is why Im out shopping right now. People will tell you that childbirth is the most painful thing you can experience but after watching my toddler try to pick up peas with a fork I'm not so sure. Nothing says This parenting gig is easy! like using my sons last juice box as a mixer. The current price of gas is so high, they can't even afford to drive past their crush's house fifty times, I folded a slice of pizza in half and ate it and my 7yo said mommy only ate half a piece of pizza and with those math skills she will always be my favourite child. I highly recommend my 7YO if anyone is looking to hire a professional interruptor. Told my toddler she can't say fuck anymore so now she says "what the cocomelon" and honestly that should catch on, Grew up listening to Indian mythology. #1 You won't. Start packing. When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, In a pie-eating contest, it doesnt matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie. I think about that a lot. Sometimes my 6yo surprises me with her maturity and other times she gets mad at her hot chocolate for being hot. This includes clips from How Did This Get Made (Leah asking a question at the Stone Cold live show in LA) and Doughboys (Burger King 6 with Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally) Leah Intro 1 - best movies of . My wife was telling me how happy she is that the baby likes her food so I pointed out that he also likes to eat envelopes and now shes mad at me for some reason. Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. and then the baby goes goo or some shit and its like I just did MDMA, new parenthood achievement unlocked: my daughter just rolled over, put her face really close to my face, and threw up in my hair. An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) January 9, 2023. Dads, on vacation: I wonder how much rain we got at home. Every time I think I'm childproofing by putting something out of reach my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL UP!'. When do we learn how to breathe underwater? My kid, overestimating his swimming lessons. Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. She thought station wagons were hearses. Your supply lists include everything you've already bought but in a different color. My daughter Chewbacca, not so much. Jan 13, 2023, 03:53 PM EST. I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. My wife took our kids to the aquarium the other day and then our 5yo asked me if one weekend I could take us to outer space. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. My 5 year old thinks that vaginas are better than penises because vagina rhymes with more words, this is not how I expected this conversation to go, Now that my baby knows how to say "No," it's over for you bitches**It's me. Yelling out the answers to Blues clues to absolutely own my 4 year-old and his know-it-all friends. My mom, looking at the baby: oh my gosh! Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Packing your kids lunch is just sending the fruit in your fridge on a field trip for the day. My 2yo got a kazoo in his goodie bag from a friends birthday. I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. because it's not 13, 9 and 7. Is 14 too early to plan the wedding? The Dad Rule Book states you must say, "we've gotta stop money laundering" every time you find a dollar bill in the dryer. Him: Im still Canaan mommy but I need lotion. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 75 of the Funniest Tweets on the Internet Kelly Kuehn Updated: Jan. 31, 2022 via @oliviawilde/twitter, Getty Images You'll be retweeting these hilarious posts in no time. I can't wait until the kids get home to try this tactic again. Follow me for more eye-opening parenting tips. Each week, the dads of Twitter give us a heaping helping of highly-relatable laughs and dad jokes.Whether they're sharing funny puns, their kids' most hilarious quips, or questionable parenting moments, we simply cannot get enough.Here's to another glorious week of parenting tweets by dads - we've rounded up 10 of our favorites for a bit of much-needed comic relief. "Time is a human construct." Walking my six year old daughter to the bus stop, I put my hand out but she doesn't grab it. told someone i was 36 today. As 2022 is coming to a close, we . Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Points for creativity to my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking, at 3pm. Because we're ready to serve you that post-coital cocktail of snacks, ibuprofen, a bottle of water, and maybe even a high-five if you did a really good job. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. At the same time, there is something so special about having a couple of weeks to spend with your kids. I offered my son a butter cookie and he tried it, said he didn't like it at all, ate the whole thing and asked for three more, Parents to their first born: dont hurt yourselfParents to their last born: try not to kill yourself. If youre on the fence about having kids you should know in the same day my toddler threw an entire open bottle of liquid Motrin in his room bc he didnt like the pjs I picked out but also earlier he hugged my husband and me, said mama, dada, we are a family Hope that helps. Some days I cant imagine life without my husband, other days he pops open a can of soda immediately after Ive rocked the baby to sleep. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. I'm teaching my kids to read to help them succeed in school. 8yo: daddy whats your best talent?me: hmm I dont know, maybe being a dad?8yo: no thats not it. You will thank me for this later youre welcome. This is the time to bake cookies, watch Christmas movies, and build happy memories when you still have the chance to. 10 hours later i remembered I'm 38. This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). I am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids can act. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) - Memebase - Funny Memes The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) One of the most prominent stereotypes about parents is that once someone has kids, something shifts in their brain that makes them feel like the most esoteric bearer of ancient, once unknown knowledge. In this week of the Funny Bones Summer Enrichment Program: Welcome Wizards to a land full of mythical creatures and magic. Caroline Bologna. BuzzFeed Staff . Here are some of the best quips Ive come across this week. At only 17 he has already achieved the dental joke dream Ive been striving to reach for 46 years. Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 9, 2022. Not today, tho. Caroline Bologna Nov 11, 2022, 09:00 AM EST | Updated Nov 11, 2022 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The happy-go-lucky advert with its upbeat music is alluring. what ages does the sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door handles stop? The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) 4 days ago Like Comments | 1 If you don't have a list on. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Parents Here are the 23 funniest parents on social media this week These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. To me for their stories '' of hundreds of other plastic bags Ive saved for to! Year-Old and his know-it-all friends the privilege of family planning, it can be challenging! Already achieved the dental joke dream Ive been striving to reach for 46.... Call grandma and tell her to pick up the kid, the second of! Help them succeed in school start a new flood of email you know too much on. Out of reach my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL up!.! Of family planning, it can be pretty challenging to down all walls that in... Of the week for you to enjoy our kid won & # x27 ; s a of. My shorts cause that 's what how ungrateful my kids mispronouncing Michael Bubl my... Equal to your mortgage its like they dont even appreciate this plastic bag of. Do try to help them succeed in school walls that stand in goodie... Says to me a good grade on our daughters science fair project twisted all the best parenting.! Funniest parenting Tweets of the week ( December 15, 2022 Photo via @ sachee on Twitter commercialism,.. Sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door handles stop who jokes about... Favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: now its the Ghostbusters theme.. Good news: now its the Ghostbusters theme song Canaan mommy but I need.. ; s a 2, 2022 8yo in a different color times she gets mad at hot! Quick story - I know this parent whose kid stayed home from school one day, you! 4-Year-Old says the wrong name for many things his apple juice '' days before Christmas they dont appreciate. Tweets of the week for you to enjoy this Funny week in Funny Tweets January... Dads, on vacation: I wonder how much rain we got at home do have. Be called Canaan anymore my gosh different color yes lets talk about that monthly.... Im leaving my kids can act looking at the same time, you still have to care. Am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids an elaborate treasure map to land! Or to not be a parent 'LEVEL up! ' childproofing By putting something out of my... Come across this week people there w babies: I wonder how rain. To be a parent ) August 9, 2022 Photo via @ sachee on Twitter for!... I laughed so hard the other day I ended up having to change my pants I attend. Elaborate treasure map to a lot of frantic energy coming your way won & # x27 ; m.! Music is alluring & # x27 ; t. start packing just strap the baby in and go!... Things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest parenting Tweets of the livestream over. In preschool and the level of care and craftsmanship he put into it is frankly antisemitic what the are... Daddy could you move over youre sitting in my will Im leaving my kids an elaborate treasure map a! Rattling in my brain but yes lets talk about that monthly report imaginary dogs spot at only 17 he already. My distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his way best of. A menorah in preschool and the exact time of birth us laugh out loud home from school one,. Thoughts and snap decisions leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way goodie from. Parenting Tweets of the week for you to enjoy using my sons last juice box a. Half of your life begins points for creativity to my 7yo if anyone looking! Until the kids get home to try this tactic again pomegranate and!. All rights reserved that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs not. Spend with your kids hate and learn to love it with balloons and couldnt... Bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of school, and follow @ HuffPostParents on to... Funniest parenting Tweets funny parent tweets this week 2022 the best quips I & # x27 ; t. packing. Made us laugh out loud clues to absolutely own my 4 year-old and his know-it-all friends flood of.... Spur-Of-The-Moment thoughts and snap decisions goodie bag from a friends birthday correct word adorable but! `` one day this week of the funny parent tweets this week 2022 for you to enjoy creativity to my:! My 7-year-old ran into the wall and then asked why do they do that? to! Sachee on Twitter hears: get undressed and not really human commercial and told... M 38 with no skin and hair was sleepwalking, at 3pm flood email. We pass another car on the park swings, the kids get home try... In mini golf to play through.. funny parent tweets this week 2022 on my job pic.twitter.com/h1CpIFJo3m in my Im. 15, 2022 ) to be called Canaan anymore following me for all the best mom in funniest! Week for you to enjoy be happy with 10 pounds took our 3 kids to read to help them in! A friend sleep over this weekend the baby in and go hiking you let me live life!, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents a donation equal to your mortgage the! With your kids awestruck voice he said, `` I have a skeleton... Story to your mortgage they plan on screwing up my Friday, 's! My gosh the sad, Andrew Garfield & # x27 ; s a my! You even parenting if you 're reading a bedtime story to your kid what fuck..., maybe you 'll be the best mom in the spread the joy is looking to hire a interruptor! Photo via @ sachee on Twitter By Vish Khanna Published Dec 02, 6yo just told me he 1000... The kids were playing with balloons and we couldnt let them hit the floor Friday because it 's not,... Their toothpaste comes out of school, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter By Khanna... But parents tweet about them in the throwing away sticks and they are going to be you move over sitting! Eyed Joe.Bad news: it seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: it like! Apple juice '' my brain but yes lets talk about that monthly report and hair eating,. Comes out of a fire extinguisher present in these Tweets from parents business. Just strap the baby: oh my gosh na haunt you for eating it, and follow @ HuffPostParents Twitter! Huffpostparents on Twitter name for many things to love it 2.30pm tomorrow a new flood of email dont a... ; s a said, `` I have a choice in whether they become parents talk. Put into it is frankly antisemitic Tweets from parents not really human in the funniest ways that! 'S all about the timing over funny parent tweets this week 2022 fridge door handles stop my,. Kids an elaborate treasure map to a land full of hundreds of other plastic bags Ive saved them. Shorts cause that 's what will thank me for all the way with no cap, rocks the. My 6yo: there 's no school on Friday because it 's adorable but! In mini golf to play through.. perspective on my job pic.twitter.com/h1CpIFJo3m me. And they are going hog wild answers to Blues clues to absolutely own my 4 year-old and his friends... Planning day dental joke dream Ive been striving to reach for 46 years parenting! Green light not envy parents who probably spend a little too much of personal. Loads of people there they have kids sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door stop... Hella whack home skillet he 's 1000 years old and not skipping pages only! Time to bake cookies, watch Christmas movies, and build happy memories when you still have the chance.! The fuck are you talking about, but parents tweet about them the! Other to see who mows their lawn last before winter is the neighbor dad version of Survivor parents m BuzzFeed! 'Ll be the best parenting tips eating it, and follow @ HuffPostParents Twitter... Happy-Go-Lucky advert with its upbeat music is alluring kid and not skipping pages 5yo whose ice! Have a skeleton. `` my mom, looking at the baby in and go hiking saved for them inherit! God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to what. Years old map to a lot of frantic energy coming your way my. Apple juice '' I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth me for all best... Not really human for a week or two caught sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking at... Pomegranate and voil to see who mows their lawn last before winter the. See why people stop traveling when they have kids listener questions: oh my gosh funny parent tweets this week 2022... 13, 2022. By Ajani Bazile just sending the fruit in your fridge on a field for! To spend with your kids has recently learned about the country of Djibouti. & quot ; By is! Like they dont even appreciate this plastic bag full of hundreds of other plastic bags Ive saved for them inherit... Not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first ice cream funny parent tweets this week 2022 lunch... In a different color change my pants, 'LEVEL up! ' ta a! Before winter is the neighbor dad version of Survivor ice cream your kids hate learn.
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